Goal in Mind

When we finally have a goal in our head, something to for which to aim, everything else seems to fall into place. 

I will be graduating December of this year after going to school full-time through the summer and fall. Everything else that I am doing now falls around that goal which helps me to become more focused in a confusing college world. I find it extremely difficult to be motivated at these big state schools.

I have always been an extremely motivated person. I am a sponge around people I idolize, I work extremely hard and I have never felt the pains of indifference. But, here at these state schools, the primary virtue encouraged is indifference. To believe something is uncool, to want something is ridiculous and to fight for something is obscene. Video games, movies, clubs, drinking, drugs, shallow party relationships, separation from pain and suffering, and monetary success are all we care about now. I wish I could say I have been untouched by these influences, but this is not true. 

I have felt my idealism subtly damaged in the wake of this pop culture. It is depressing as hell to me.  (Literally depressing as hell) I'll wake up at two in the afternoon sometimes or stay up late doing nothing good. As humans, we need goals and things to fight for. I need something to fight for, but when I'm stuck in a system that is all about a degree and deeply impersonal, I can't think of anything to fight for.

I am glad to have a goal now. I think having this goal will help me find the things I need to fight for: adventure, integrity, and love.

Forced Rest

I have been thinking about a lot of things in my life lately, as I normally do. But now it is a bit different. I had a Basketball injury and sprained my ankle in three places. So now, I can't really go anywhere, besides my room. I can't work, which is what I normally do on my weekends. I am not used to having a free day. A day in which I have no plans but to do what I want to do and to rest. A sabbath, I suppose.

I have always thought everyone should have a sabbath. It seems very healthy; however, I have not really abided by my own rules. But now, I am being forced to live by that rule. I am being forced to rest. 

Mommy, an old man and a little girl

I picked up my mommy at the airport yesterday. It was so good to see her. We spent the day hanging out in Miami, and I got to show her my life here. I am so thankful for her, she is so patient with me. The relationship is so deep and I 'm sure extremely stressful for her at times. Sorry about that mom. 

While I was at the airport waiting for her to arrive, I was watching this old man next to me. He had his luggage and was waiting for somebody. Then a young father walked by carrying his little daughter of about two years. As they walked by, the old man's face lit up. He looked her right in her eyes and gave the biggest smile. The girl smiled back, excited by the old man's obvious enthusiasm. 

I wondered why this old man was so excited to see that little, young life go by. My grandfather is the same way with the youngest grandchildren in the family. It is as though they inspire him and give him more life. I find this very interesting. It is as though the old man is seeing something in himself, nostalgia or gratefulness that life is continuing. There is not depression or jealousy that this new life has more years or potential than himself. Instead, he possesses some kind of love or hope for this new life. It is almost as though the child gives him some kind of love or hope as well.

My mom and I talked a lot about these things throughout the day. I am amazed at her willingness to listen to me.

Until next time.

Interesting Article

I was reading some old NY Times articles and ran across this one.

Notice it predicts everything that is happening right now thanks to bad politics. Interesting

Horror

If you look horror up on google images, this is the first picture that is shown. Just in case you were feeling horrified because our economy is going to die and everything we have ever known is going to die! 

I personally am very happy that the bailout plan pushed by all the powers that be did not pass. We love our horror films, like the pictures above. We love getting scared and clinging to our friends in that moment. You know who knows we love getting scared? CNN, NY Times, etc. They love to get us all riled up and freaked out; they love us looking like emo guy top right. We love watching about how scary everything is, so they freak us out. That is why I was so scared the bailout plan was going to pass.

It was only a couple of days after the economic crisis had happened and all of the sudden some guy named Paulson told us that he needed to be in charge of 700 billion dollars going to save the big corporations. Then Bush got up and told everybody we needed to stand behind this bill, much like he told us to get behind the Patriot Act after 911 when we were filled with horror. To each his own, but the Patriot Act scares me and so does this bailout plan. 

It was pretty interesting that the representatives voting against the bill tended to be either really far left or really far right, and the heads of the parties and the president all wanted the bill to pass. I am glad that our representatives are going to take some time to better work out this bill. It does not seem like something to rush in two days. Once it happens, you don't just take it back. 

Anyways, we should be writing our representatives to tell them how proud we are of them, or not proud of them if you really wanted the bill to pass. 

In other news, Our intramural football team won another game. We are 2-1 now but our defense is yet to be scored upon. (We lost the first game 2-0 on a safety, yeah it sucks)

Commonality?

Sometimes I forget how many people really live in this world. It is so easy to consider only ourselves, only to be rudely awakened by pictures like this. These people are all marching to encourage the production of some new car coming out. I have no clue what the essence of the debate really is; I can't relate. Yet somehow there is some commonality between us it seems.

I was reading the article pictured above in the NY Times while I was riding the bus through Miami on the way to school. I thought it might be kinda cool to have our bus run into a big protest like this. We could probably have a big barbeque or something while we tried to change the world.

Course Schedule

This semester I'm taking:

1. Visual Media Design: That's why my graphics are so good on this webpage! Notice all the stuff I've done? lol
   
2. Constitutional Law: Powers: Taught by a Cuban/American guy that went to Wheaton College. I never thought I would see a guy from Wheaton College at FIU, but there he is. He swears more than any teacher I've ever had, and if you know anything about Wheaton that is really odd... LIke really, really odd. Great class though. A lot of pretty girls that are going to law school are in the class, yay! (See pic above)
3. Consumer Economics: Taught by this a very fiscal conservative guy. Really interesting he travels a lot and he works at the IRS. Very Cool Nerd
4. Statistics for Business: What else can I say but, Gen Ed course. This class makes me believe that the world is boring, pointless and without purpose. (Sorry Simon for that hyperbolic statement.) The teacher speaks worse English than my old cleaning lady from Poland and the material is dreadfully easy/boring.
5. Writing Strategies: To help me write because I'm a writer. The teacher wants us to read Stephen King though, I almost cried when she told us that. Stephen King? We can't find any better literature than Stephen King? "Blah, blah, blah..." These are the prominent words that go through my head throughout this hour and fifteen minute class. Blah, blah, blah