Forced Rest

I have been thinking about a lot of things in my life lately, as I normally do. But now it is a bit different. I had a Basketball injury and sprained my ankle in three places. So now, I can't really go anywhere, besides my room. I can't work, which is what I normally do on my weekends. I am not used to having a free day. A day in which I have no plans but to do what I want to do and to rest. A sabbath, I suppose.

I have always thought everyone should have a sabbath. It seems very healthy; however, I have not really abided by my own rules. But now, I am being forced to live by that rule. I am being forced to rest. 

Mommy, an old man and a little girl

I picked up my mommy at the airport yesterday. It was so good to see her. We spent the day hanging out in Miami, and I got to show her my life here. I am so thankful for her, she is so patient with me. The relationship is so deep and I 'm sure extremely stressful for her at times. Sorry about that mom. 

While I was at the airport waiting for her to arrive, I was watching this old man next to me. He had his luggage and was waiting for somebody. Then a young father walked by carrying his little daughter of about two years. As they walked by, the old man's face lit up. He looked her right in her eyes and gave the biggest smile. The girl smiled back, excited by the old man's obvious enthusiasm. 

I wondered why this old man was so excited to see that little, young life go by. My grandfather is the same way with the youngest grandchildren in the family. It is as though they inspire him and give him more life. I find this very interesting. It is as though the old man is seeing something in himself, nostalgia or gratefulness that life is continuing. There is not depression or jealousy that this new life has more years or potential than himself. Instead, he possesses some kind of love or hope for this new life. It is almost as though the child gives him some kind of love or hope as well.

My mom and I talked a lot about these things throughout the day. I am amazed at her willingness to listen to me.

Until next time.

Interesting Article

I was reading some old NY Times articles and ran across this one.

Notice it predicts everything that is happening right now thanks to bad politics. Interesting

Horror

If you look horror up on google images, this is the first picture that is shown. Just in case you were feeling horrified because our economy is going to die and everything we have ever known is going to die! 

I personally am very happy that the bailout plan pushed by all the powers that be did not pass. We love our horror films, like the pictures above. We love getting scared and clinging to our friends in that moment. You know who knows we love getting scared? CNN, NY Times, etc. They love to get us all riled up and freaked out; they love us looking like emo guy top right. We love watching about how scary everything is, so they freak us out. That is why I was so scared the bailout plan was going to pass.

It was only a couple of days after the economic crisis had happened and all of the sudden some guy named Paulson told us that he needed to be in charge of 700 billion dollars going to save the big corporations. Then Bush got up and told everybody we needed to stand behind this bill, much like he told us to get behind the Patriot Act after 911 when we were filled with horror. To each his own, but the Patriot Act scares me and so does this bailout plan. 

It was pretty interesting that the representatives voting against the bill tended to be either really far left or really far right, and the heads of the parties and the president all wanted the bill to pass. I am glad that our representatives are going to take some time to better work out this bill. It does not seem like something to rush in two days. Once it happens, you don't just take it back. 

Anyways, we should be writing our representatives to tell them how proud we are of them, or not proud of them if you really wanted the bill to pass. 

In other news, Our intramural football team won another game. We are 2-1 now but our defense is yet to be scored upon. (We lost the first game 2-0 on a safety, yeah it sucks)

Commonality?

Sometimes I forget how many people really live in this world. It is so easy to consider only ourselves, only to be rudely awakened by pictures like this. These people are all marching to encourage the production of some new car coming out. I have no clue what the essence of the debate really is; I can't relate. Yet somehow there is some commonality between us it seems.

I was reading the article pictured above in the NY Times while I was riding the bus through Miami on the way to school. I thought it might be kinda cool to have our bus run into a big protest like this. We could probably have a big barbeque or something while we tried to change the world.

Course Schedule

This semester I'm taking:

1. Visual Media Design: That's why my graphics are so good on this webpage! Notice all the stuff I've done? lol
   
2. Constitutional Law: Powers: Taught by a Cuban/American guy that went to Wheaton College. I never thought I would see a guy from Wheaton College at FIU, but there he is. He swears more than any teacher I've ever had, and if you know anything about Wheaton that is really odd... LIke really, really odd. Great class though. A lot of pretty girls that are going to law school are in the class, yay! (See pic above)
3. Consumer Economics: Taught by this a very fiscal conservative guy. Really interesting he travels a lot and he works at the IRS. Very Cool Nerd
4. Statistics for Business: What else can I say but, Gen Ed course. This class makes me believe that the world is boring, pointless and without purpose. (Sorry Simon for that hyperbolic statement.) The teacher speaks worse English than my old cleaning lady from Poland and the material is dreadfully easy/boring.
5. Writing Strategies: To help me write because I'm a writer. The teacher wants us to read Stephen King though, I almost cried when she told us that. Stephen King? We can't find any better literature than Stephen King? "Blah, blah, blah..." These are the prominent words that go through my head throughout this hour and fifteen minute class. Blah, blah, blah

ECC's Proud Florida Graduate

I yahoo'ed my name to see what I am famous for just now and I found a bunch of stuff I had already seen before but then I realized something new. My community college in Chicago, Elgin Community College proudly announced through the Daily Herald Joshua Ballantine as their only graduate from out-of-state. See the article here. My address was listed in Florida so I went down in history as ECC's only Florida graduate for 2007.

The ironic thing is that I've never been to my Florida address. The things the system does not see is incredible to me. 

Rock Climbing

Here are some videos of the climbing trip Clint and I took to Banff, Canada.

My New Idol

I get really mad at myself when I read stories like this because I didn't do it.

The world runs like clockwork that is irreversibly historically deterministic. Sometimes I feel like everything is as it is and cannot be changed, that nobody can really be different even though that is our primary goal. A goal which we strive for with our entire consciousness and being. A goal so subtly unattainable. 

Society, man. Society! Society blocks us into demographics and tells us we have the freedom to choose, but they don't mean it. They don't want you to choose, it wants your soul, your will, your FIRE! 

Chaos! 

Noise! 

Errands! 

Responsibilities! 

A-muse-ment! 

Friends! 

Politics! 

Job!

After it all we have arrived nowhere, we have fallen into the clockwork of fatalism, the enemy's gates. 

"Why? Why did I end up this way?" asked the hungry sojourner as he lay in flat surrender at the base of the enemy's gates. 

"Because you fled from pain, you fled from struggle." Answered the enemy. "You grew content, you feared death. You found one piece and kept it, only to be caught up by the beautifully cruel turns of my wheels! 

The sojourner stared into the enemy's eyes and the enemy stared back at him intensely. It was terrifying. In his eyes was the presence of all evil, all wickedness. The greatest fears known to mankind in its conscious state burned like fires in the enemy's eyes, and more fears, still unknown to man, moved inside egg-like shells. The sojourner turned away, not able to bear the depth of the enemy's eyes.

"You wanted everything nice and organized. You feared doubt, destruction and pain. How did you think you could ever conquer me? Am I a man like yourself that you come at me with mere numbers and manpower? Everything you know is powerless against me, it is what you don't know that will kill me." The enemy finished.

The sojourner looked again into the eyes of the enemy only to realize the enemy was not there. The enemy was nothing, emptiness, abyss. The sojourner continued to look and realized the enemy was gone, non-existent, yet still staring right into his eyes.

Courage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pit0zG1vswM

Its hard to watch this new commercial by Nike and not be inspired. I watched a video about advertising recently and they said that when you watch a culture's advertising you are watching a society reflect itself to itself. The companies are trying to sell to their own culture, so they portray how the culture sees themselves or how they want to be seen.

As Nike flashed up the athletes during the commercial they only flash up their own athletes they have sponsored throughout its history and quotes that they have come up with within their own company. I tried to find special techniques that they used to make this commercial so appealing and successful, but the more I tried the more I realized they used the best of themselves and advertised that. It is something about not following the market but rather influencing the market. That is what people are drawn to. That is what makes people want to be involved. 

The commercial glorifies those that have fought through trials. Those who have endured. That is what a global advertising commercial such as Nike's courage commercial is trying to portray to the people watching. That is what the people watching think of themselves or think they would like to become.

K2 Deaths

CNN reported that 11 people were just killed on Pakistan's K2-the second biggest mountain in the world- when their rope snapped. 

The climbers who died were Dutch, Irish, Italian, French, Norwegian, Korean, and Nepalese citizens. People from all over the world coming to this one place to challenge themselves. Sometimes it seems so stupid that we put ourselves in dangerous positions, that we risk our lives to say that we have accomplished something. Yet accomplishment and challenge touches something deep within us. 

These climbers tested themselves until their deaths, but what if they had never went on the trip? What if they never would have taken the risk? Would they be happier people? 

The mortal son of a god from The Iliad, Achilles, faced a similar decision. He was forced to decide whether to die in glory early or lead a happy, lengthy life to create a family. He eventually decided to take the glory.  What is it within the human spirit that desires to prove him or herself untouchable? Immortal?

I just got back from a rock climbing trip, not quite as intense as the K2 climbers yet challenging nonetheless. I found myself full of lust for the next battle, the next cliff to conquer. I failed many climbs but that only made me want it more. I was challenging my greatest challenger throughout those climbs, myself. I am not ready for K2, yet something in me desires some challenge, some risk like those climbers about which I read on CNN.

Breakfast

I love breakfast. It is my favorite meal in the world, because it sets off your day and its easy to cook. I cooked some breakfast today for some people in the house and it was so fun. Some people didn't want to eat but I made them anyway to make myself feel better about myself. (Its weird how we do that no?) 

Breakfast is so cool because it is simple. Everyone is too groggy to worry about what is going on so they'll eat anything, so anything tastes good. Also, it symbolizes a new day. When I am cooking breakfast I feel like there are not that many problems in the world because there is always a whole day ahead. I feel like any pains can be turned to victory stories because of the time ahead. 

Everyone should eat breakfast. Especially when they are in a small country town with a big family and random people too.

Carpenter

I will get up in a couple hours and go build houses. They call me a carpenter for now. I really like that. 

My family flew to the Dominican Republic today from Chicago. 

I worked out.

I saw the sun.

I smiled

I saw a movie about death which made me think a lot.

Wesley and my sister are in love...

Life continues on as I know it

Prince Albert, Saskatchewan

If you have never heard of this town then you haven't lived. Pretty much the final town before the never-ending nothingness that is northern Canada. Population 34,000. We drove for six hours across continuous prairies reading "war and peace." (no joke) 

We were attending the funeral of Wes' friend's mom, if that makes sense. He is a young kid and lost his mother, it was incredibly sad. Wes' friend Aaron was so fun to be with. We hung out before the funeral for a couple days and talked about life. He is a Christian and so devout. He loves Jesus more than anything and that hope really helped him through the pain of losing his mom. 

Aaron's family were incredible. They were living with their uncle, his wife and four kids while their mom struggled with cancer. His family has six also, so that was twelve people in one small house. The couple of days that Wes and I were there, they welcomed us as part of the family. Even though they had just lost their mother, they didn't know me, and they were so busy, they welcomed us as though we were family. Not even because they felt they had too, they genuinely wanted to get to know us and serve us the best they could. I could not believe it. 

I was thinking, how many people could actually tolerate living with their family in close proximity for long periods of time like that? And still welcome others with open, sincere arms? What a testimony of a faith that is put into action I thought. I am so grateful for Aaron and his family, and the lessons of compassion, tolerance, and values that they taught me by the way they live while I was there.

Congratulations Rachel and Wesley Proch!

Something Beautiful happened... And I saw it with my eyes... Rachel and Wesley got married to one another.

I was pretty stoked for them. It was perhaps the craziest month of my life. 50 gringos from all over the northern part of the continent coming to this little island in the Caribbean. I was exhausted after the wedding. 

I learned some things: Family and friends may be the most amazing existences in the universe, life must consist of more peace than we are used to in the USA, and I have two really hot sisters, only one of which is still single. (So I will have to work hard to keep her that way.)

The Neural Buddhists By DAVID BROOKS

• The Neural Buddhists
  
  
  By DAVID BROOKS
  Published: May 13, 2008
  In 1996, Tom Wolfe wrote a brilliant essay called “Sorry, but Your Soul Just Died,” in which he captured the militant materialism of some modern scientists.
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  David Brooks
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  To these self-confident researchers, the idea that the spirit might exist apart from the body is just ridiculous. Instead, everything arises from atoms. Genes shape temperament. Brain chemicals shape behavior. Assemblies of neurons create consciousness. Free will is an illusion. Human beings are “hard-wired” to do this or that. Religion is an accident.
  In this materialist view, people perceive God’s existence because their brains have evolved to confabulate belief systems. You put a magnetic helmet around their heads and they will begin to think they are having a spiritual epiphany. If they suffer from temporal lobe epilepsy, they will show signs of hyperreligiosity, an overexcitement of the brain tissue that leads sufferers to believe they are conversing with God.
  Wolfe understood the central assertion contained in this kind of thinking: Everything is material and “the soul is dead.” He anticipated the way the genetic and neuroscience revolutions would affect public debate. They would kick off another fundamental argument over whether God exists.
  Lo and behold, over the past decade, a new group of assertive atheists has done battle with defenders of faith. The two sides have argued about whether it is reasonable to conceive of a soul that survives the death of the body and about whether understanding the brain explains away or merely adds to our appreciation of the entity that created it.
  The atheism debate is a textbook example of how a scientific revolution can change public culture. Just as “The Origin of Species reshaped social thinking, just as Einstein’s theory of relativity affected art, so the revolution in neuroscience is having an effect on how people see the world.
  And yet my guess is that the atheism debate is going to be a sideshow. The cognitive revolution is not going to end up undermining faith in God, it’s going to end up challenging faith in the Bible.
  Over the past several years, the momentum has shifted away from hard-core materialism. The brain seems less like a cold machine. It does not operate like a computer. Instead, meaning, belief and consciousness seem to emerge mysteriously from idiosyncratic networks of neural firings. Those squishy things called emotions play a gigantic role in all forms of thinking. Love is vital to brain development.
  Researchers now spend a lot of time trying to understand universal moral intuitions. Genes are not merely selfish, it appears. Instead, people seem to have deep instincts for fairness, empathy and attachment.
  Scientists have more respect for elevated spiritual states. Andrew Newberg of the University of Pennsylvania has shown that transcendent experiences can actually be identified and measured in the brain (people experience a decrease in activity in the parietal lobe, which orients us in space). The mind seems to have the ability to transcend itself and merge with a larger presence that feels more real.
  This new wave of research will not seep into the public realm in the form of militant atheism. Instead it will lead to what you might call neural Buddhism.
  If you survey the literature (and I’d recommend books by Newberg, Daniel J. Siegel, Michael S. Gazzaniga, Jonathan Haidt, Antonio Damasio and Marc D. Hauser if you want to get up to speed), you can see that certain beliefs will spread into the wider discussion.
  First, the self is not a fixed entity but a dynamic process of relationships. Second, underneath the patina of different religions, people around the world have common moral intuitions. Third, people are equipped to experience the sacred, to have moments of elevated experience when they transcend boundaries and overflow with love. Fourth, God can best be conceived as the nature one experiences at those moments, the unknowable total of all there is.
  In their arguments with Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins, the faithful have been defending the existence of God. That was the easy debate. The real challenge is going to come from people who feel the existence of the sacred, but who think that particular religions are just cultural artifacts built on top of universal human traits. It’s going to come from scientists whose beliefs overlap a bit with Buddhism.
  In unexpected ways, science and mysticism are joining hands and reinforcing each other. That’s bound to lead to new movements that emphasize self-transcendence but put little stock in divine law or revelation. Orthodox believers are going to have to defend particular doctrines and particular biblical teachings. They’re going to have to defend the idea of a personal God, and explain why specific theologies are true guides for behavior day to day. I’m not qualified to take sides, believe me. I’m just trying to anticipate which way the debate is headed. We’re in the middle of a scientific revolution. It’s going to have big cultural effects.

La Juventud

It seems everyone wants to "be young again." Adults talk about the "good old days" and how "when I was young." What a gift youth really is, the mistakes we make and the adventures that we seek. 

I am realizing that I am a youth. (Even though technically I'm more of an adult.) I live some really interesting adventures, everyday is a new challenge, adventure, or mistake. This special time of my life is something to be treasured and I should tell about it. I am not only writing about my life, but about the age or epoc in which I am trapped, my youth. This point through which all people cross as part of the human condition, a point that some ignore and some extend.

I went to the doctor yesterday in the big city about an hour away, Santiago. I picked up this military man that was hitchhiking to work. He told me how great the military parties are. When I got to the doctor I had to wait so long to see him. I'm sitting here with all these people waiting to get in and see the doctor. I waited on and off for about 5 hours, mostly just watching people. There were rich and poor in the hospital. One lady with her kids yelling at the nurses, two guys following these two girls flirting around the hospital, and doctors busily treating the patients.  I walked across the street to the mall which is mostly upper class to eat something. I love these times when I can just watch people, the young guys flirting with the KFC girl, the two rich business men having a meeting, and the two real plastic girls buying new jewelry. 

We will all die at some point, we all have the same appetites, and we all need one another. We should start embracing our youth more and more I believe.

This question has been plaguing my mind for the last couple of days and it almost seems impossible to answer unless it possess some kind of paradoxical truth. Something I am inclined to believe. The question is this:

How can one stand for truth and virtue while living a life full of mercy, grace, and forgiveness?

I saw that the famous pastor Bill Hybels calls himself a progressive now on the back of Jim Wallis' new book "the great awakening." No progressive stand for a much more relative approach to truth. Progressives are all about everyone being equal and that no one is better than anyone else. This really does away with absolute truth, which seems like a necessary belief for a pastor. I am generalizing to keep the blog short, but it seems that many modern day christians have found a way to answer my big question like Shane Claiborne, Jim Wallis, and now Bill Hybles, or have they?

This is the question going through my head and I will let everyone know when I find the answer, cuz then all the world's problems will pretty much be done away with.

-Joshua

moms

I think moms are the coolest in the world. Maybe its just my mom, but I think its the mom in general too.

I am saying this because I'm looking at an Alicia Keys cd that my mom just sent me in the mail. There is not many cooler things than coming home from a lonely day and having an unknown package waiting for you at your dorm. Moms are always ready to serve you for some weird reason. 

Sometimes we get mad at moms but it is impossible to stay mad at moms, and if anyone ever messes with our moms that just really pisses us off. Moms don't much care about their own lives, they just want you to be number one. Moms are the coolest. 

I can't believe my mom even knows that I like Alicia Keys, but she finds out everything. Sometimes I don't want her to know everything, but she just knows anyway, its like some weird code. Its like there exists a special bond between kids and moms, maybe cuz of the whole "looking like a planet for nine months and still having to go on with your normal life because nobody around really understands what is going inside of your stomach especially if they have a penis cuz that can't happen to them so its easier to stay away" thing. 

So thanks for doing that for me mom, if you read my blog. Or just if you are a mom in general, props to you. Oh yeah and I think mothers day is coming up too

It's not about the titles, its about the testimonies...

-Tony Campolo (Quoting his pastor)

Infinity

Just so everyone knows, I have officially counted to infinity. I took some time yesterday to finish that off, it was not as hard as many people think, at least for me. 

I am planning to do it again this summer if anyone cares to join me. I will do it as I write some music on the road.

Joshua

Destiny

My camera is broken so I have not been able to put up any pics or videos lately, sorry I know everyone wants to see some! hehe. At least I like them.

I have this really great teacher that discussed the idea of fate vs. destiny today. He explained that fate has this negative connotation while destiny is this beautiful idea that we hold in our heads, the idea that we were meant or 'created' to do something. Its like there is some kind of romance behind destiny (That is the coolest word in the world, romance). We often do not live out the destiny in our lives and live for some lesser purpose, when we live true we live according to our destiny. He explained that this is one thing that separated the Romans from the Greeks in ancient times. The Greeks saw fate while the Romans saw destiny and changed the course of history fulfilling their destiny, pretty abstract idea, but intriguing none the less.

Life can bring us to so many places. I think sometimes we look at our lives and say 'man, what happened? How did I get here?' That is a good place to be because we realize the fated, meaningless life that we are living rather than the life we are created to live. We need to get off our butts and discover the destiny that we have, I believe. My teacher talked about this in my Western Civilization class (You'll see I talk about that class a lot, its amazing!) so they are his ideas but I agree. We must have some sort of consciousness (the popular term today) rather than some mundane, predictable existence. I want to ask the question to myself every day, "would I write a book about my life? Would it challenge people for the better?" Most times I think I would say no, but there are times when I know I could say yes.

2 dead

It was a sad day yesterday for some people here in the area. Two brothers were shot and killed in front of my school.

There is a big fair that is happening on the lot next to FIU, and it seems like everyone in Miami is there. At about 4 in the morning some cars got into a fender bender which escalated to some guy shooting two brothers, two young guy I heard, like high school. I was sleeping and of course slept right through it, but everyone told me in the morning about it. Crazy to think that two guys' lives just ended so fast because of a fender bender. 

At work, I was talking with some of my coworkers and they were saying what it is in which we live. mhhhh... Then we started talking and realized that people do stupid things because they are scared. But we should not live in fear because that will only make things worse, it will make us capable of the same evils about which we hear. But it is scary to think that it is dangerous to walk around minding your own business. (There was a store manager taken hostage a couple hours later on top of the shooting.)

If people did not live in fear but in confidence we could live much safer and happier. From the gangbanger at the fair to the businessman walking down the road. I am going to start to stop living in fear and taking steps against fear, I'll let you know how that goes. 

Caleb mi amigo and Country Music

I spent my spring break drinking cafe con leche with Caleb here in MIAMI. We spent the week watching Hillary and Obama make fun of each other, watching dolphins swim in the ocean, and me trying to pick up girls, while they try to pick up Caleb. (Ay! The never-ending cycle of the girls going for Caleb while I am interested! He always gets the numbers and since he is the only one who has had a girlfriend, I guess he is better at sealing the deal.)

We discovered that it is really annoying when people are scared to tell you how they feel. 

We discovered that Miami can be very plastic and fake, and some parts so raw and real. 

We discovered that we are glad we are friends.

We met these girls who have decided to move into one of the worst areas in inner-city Miami and work with troubled youth.

We saw some really fine girls.

We fell in love with country music and realized that growing up in liberal Chicago made us miss out on some awesome lyrics.

In Chicago its popular to say, "I like all music... Except for country." Weird how that is... I have a theory its because its so liberal I missed out on country because country is associated with conservatives or something! Country is awesome! You can actually understand what the singers are saying. I got nothing against liberals, flip, I'm a registered democrat, but man they made me miss out on country. I heard a song that you are only a guy if "your hands can pick up a toolbox", thats just cool. I have never actually picked up a toolbox, but guys that have are just more manly for doing it, I don't care what you say.

Any thoughts on why us northerners don't like country?

Death in the Sun

Buried beneath the sand at South Beach. I should have stayed under the sand all day. Two days after spending the day at the beach, I am in the hospital tending to second degree burns all over my back and shoulders and given narcotic drugs to be able to sleep at night. I am really dumb sometimes I swear.

All the people I went with were dark so I didn't think I would need sunscreen because they didn't use any. Boy was I wrong. Great way to celebrate St. Patrick's day, in the hospital. I need to remember my Irish roots for real. More than twenty minutes at South Beach requires sunscreen for any people with Irish roots.

Plato's my Homeboy

I have decided that a dream of mine is to go to a bar and drink a couple beers with Plato. I have been hanging out with him a lot lately, he does all the talking (I mean writing) whenever we go out. Plato's Republic is perhaps the most important book in our history. We are reading it for my Western Civilization class. Makes me want to be a lawyer, maybe I'll switch majors again, :-)

He speaks of knowledge and understanding and the lust we must have for it, claiming that, "Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind." We must desire it and lust for it to obtain it.

As I watch people not questioning the things they are taught and not getting to the roots of what they believe, it is saddening because we turn into zombies. This has challenged me to not be lazy but to search and question deeper than ever before, otherwise I will not come about knowledge. 

Plato has also challenged me to persevere with the growth of my beard. He has encouraged me to not waver but to be an example in growth. This growth is the second way of obtaining knowledge. (Plato doesn't specifically mention this in The Republic, though it is obviously implied by the actions of his life.)

Friends

Why don't you shut up?

The power went out today all over Florida for a couple of minutes. I did not even notice until I walked by a TV in the library and CNN was freaking out about us not having power. (Its weird because the TV was on, so obviously we had power by that time) Anyways, the CNN journalists were blaming all the terrorists for the power outage. Everything is a conspiracy. I tried to picture my friends in the Dominican Republic when their power goes out, which happens every day.

Sometimes people freak out about really small things and make them into huge things. I know I do this too, but seriously sometimes we just need to shut up and not freak out.

In positive news, my nana saw Miami on the news and decided to call me. I got to talk to her for a half hour.


Stop talking when there is nothing left to say

-Leo Tolstoy

my school

If you want to see what my school is like check out this video filmed right in front of my dorm last year... Not even joking that is my school.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DC4Rb9quKk

Politics

It is interesting how many people are politically conservative here in Miami. It seems that in universities everywhere students are so liberal it is almost uncool to ever think something good could come out of the conservative party. That is dangerous thinking. So many people just want to blame George Bush for everything that is wrong with the world, but there is a lot more going on and scapegoating won't help.

Though I am a registered democrat, I am very thankful that I am surrounded by so many conservative thinkers. It is great to have good debates and figure out what I really believe, rather than being around people that think like me.

berto

I forgot I had this video, just thought some people might want to see it. i laugh every time I see it.

Berto- The party Anima

Bugs

Bugs are nasty... Bugs are ugly... Bugs have no use...

This is what I always have thought. Today I went to a waste water treatment plant. I saw all of Miami's waste water pour into these huge tanks, it was pretty disgusting and it really smelled. Anyways, the plant is all about feeding and taking care of the bugs that are in the tanks because they break down all of our organic matter (Which is a nice word for all of our shit).

You ever wonder where all of your kaka goes? You ever wonder where your dirty shower water ends up? Well it goes somewhere, and you know who eventually cleans that water so that we can re-use it? BUGS! (Well some chlorine helps too) Those dirty, nasty, disease carrying pests. They protect us and break down our organic matter and turn it into methane which can be used for energy. They clean our water and make our kaka worth money! Don't bag bugs next time you get bit by one, or else they might get pissed and stop making our kaka worth so much.

It seems like there is a deep lesson to be learned here. Never judge something by its face value. You never know to whom you are talking or what potential something or somebody really has. We are all in need of one another at deep levels that we cannot see right away. Don't underestimate bugs or anything else. Think about that, Bugs rock!

Reflection

February 3rd...24 hours...1440 minutes...

A lot has happened since yesterday in our world: a spoiled kid won a pointless game that over 97 million people around the world tuned in to watch, three men were killed by a gunman at a bar in an argument about that game, thousands flocked to a city in the amazon to party and forget about their problems, a black man and a white woman took center stage in the eyes of billions, relationships were broken, marriages formed, over three hundred thousand new people were created, and over 150,000 people died.

Everyday so much happens. So much pain and so much joy. I love to sit back and watch the world, to see what is going. Our lives will be finished in an instant, nobody knows when, whether sooner or later. That does not mean we do not have time to reflect. We must reflect to get the most out of life. Stop focusing on how you can build your own story and start to listen to other's, this will help you build your own. There are many stories to be told, but there are many more to be heard.

Febuary 5th...24 hours...1440 minutes...

new camera

Simple

The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. (Psalm 19:7)

Simple... Simple... Simple...

Central Church

Today was an awesome day. I met some people at the local intervarsity chapter at school, some Bible study thing on Thursday night, and they invited me to go to this church downtown. It was one of the coolest things I have done in a very long time.

There was five of us, Asquith, Amanda, Zach (see pic above), Judy, and I, that went down on the bus at like six in the morning. We arrived at this big church right in overtown, one of the poorer parts of Miami. The church is an one of those churches that is from like fifty or more years ago. When we got there we got right into passing clothes out. People come from the streets into this church to exchange their clothes for some clean ones and the church washes the clothes and it is a cycle.

There were all kinds of men and women that came in: people who have living on the streets most of their lives, people who just got kicked out of their house and are turning to a last resort, transexuals, homosexuals, heterosexuals, drug addicts, non-drug atticts, immigrants, nationals, people escaping the northern US cold, christians, atheists, voodooists, very hard workers, lazy people, bitter ex-pats, proud ex-pats, Bible school graduates, policeman, anarchists, social workers, and abusers. Talk about a mix of people.

After people got to shower and get some fresh clothes, we all met in the sanctuary and worshiped together. There was about 100 people in the chapel for the service. After the service we ate together and hung out together. I met so many different people, heard so many different stories; some I believed, some I did not. I felt like I was actually in church for once. I will definitely be going back there.

Picture: On the way home on the bus we partied. Zach brought his little guitar and this guy on the bus came over and started to play. He played that real spanish guitar. Everyone on the bus started to clap and we started singing with his jamming, it was so fun! Only in Miami do people not get annoyed by that stuff, and even get involved! The guy exited the bus after only one song and I did not even get to take a picture of him except for this one. (he's the guy on the bottom left...the Legend)

Happy MLK Day!

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

I got some Tolstoy books for my birthday today, I was so excited, thank-you grandma! (Oh I also got an Alicia Keys poster!) When Tolstoy had just finished writing "War and Peace", one of the most famous novels in the history of the world, he decided to go live it large. You know what he did? He started a school on his estate for peasant children. He personally taught a group of underprivileged peasant children, Tolstoy, who was one of the most famous men of his time.

I find it incredible that he decided to do that. He had such a firm belief that there was potential for good in those children, that he sacrificed all the parties and great social life that he could have been enjoying in place of hanging out with a bunch of little kids. He also claimed that he learned an incredible amount from them, more than he taught them.

There is so much bad in the world. We should start to do little things instead of worrying about saving the whole world. Tolstoy hung out with a bunch of little kids, Martin Luther King marched down some streets, what can we do?

My brother, Orion Pahl, drew this picture for me once that makes me think how little we are, yet how unique we are. (Top of the page.) We are really small. We are not gods. We are loved to make a difference.

bike crash :(

Today I could have gotten the rest of my college paid for, instead I let the guy go. I was riding down the crosswalk on my bike and this car pulled out and hit me! I went flying off my bike, but nothing happened to me, it takes more than some car to get me down, lol. Then there was a cop right behind the guy who hit me, I could have nailed him so bad! I had the whole law going for me. The guy was freaking out, and I was checking to make sure my bike was okay and everything. The cop put his lights on and came out and there were tons of cars watching because it was a big intersection, BUSTED! I kind of felt bad for the guy in a way and since nothing really happened I decided not to file a report and lay into the guy a little bit about watching for bikers because the drivers here really don't treat us bikers very well in Miami.

So everyone went home without a lawsuit or their insurance rates going up. Then I noticed my front rim was bent a little bit! I was so mad at myself, now I have to pay for it to get fixed. But I am sure it happened for a reason, but man was I mad at myself...

Anyways...Peace

My Game

I took a convenient selection survey today as I walked back from my class to my dorm. 9/34 of the students were talking on their cell phones, none of the cell phone talkers made eye contact with me, hmmm, we live in a weird society. Another fourth of the students were listening to headphones.

I have a game to play for anyone who likes games that try to de-create our extremely impersonal society. When you are walking by people, lock eyes with them with a smile. Whoever steers their eyes away first loses. If people get weirded out by you, just tell them "what else would I want to look at while I am looking than you, you are the most important thing around." That should calm them down, okay maybe not. It is really funny the responses people will give you. I don't mean to brag, but I have only one loss in this game in my entire career of hundreds of contests, which is the longest in the world since I invented the game. The loss came to a really talented janitor from ECC. I never got her name, but she will always be a legend in my mind.

I am Legend

Today I hung out with my flat mate Tom from Texas. He is very cool. One of those real smart guys... like Berto. I am glad to be here in Miami more and more as the days go on.

I read about the annihilation of the native americans by the Europeans today and then I met this girl who is leaving for Afghanistan this week to serve our country. War is ever present and real, it is easy to believe we are not a part of the wars that are going on because we do not see it in our faces or feel it on our skin; however, that does not mean we are not a part.

I saw the movie I am Legend with Will Smith today. Sorry to give it away if you have not seen it, but, it is about a virus that kills most of the world. There are scenes showing the United States in a frenzied anarchy as people rush to try to find safety. People who thought that they were safe from everything and living happy lives. At the very end Will Smith gives his life so that the human race can be saved, or what is left of it. It is incredibly moving and holds some incredible truths.

Will Smith, in the movie, realized that he was a part of the pain and decided to give the greatest gift someone can give. Life comes from death. Jesus said something like, there is no greater love than this, to give one's own life. I want to start thinking in that way, I want to try to give my life a little more. We'll see if I really do it... Thoughts?

New friend

I have a new friend, someone who will be with me throughout the bad times and the good times. Someone who understands me for who I am. Someone who will be strong for me and carry me. Someone who will hold my hands, or I will hold their hands actually.

Let's just say it has been an uphill battle since I got here in Miami. After going on zero sleep new years eve to new years, taking a flight to Miami, driving all around Miami to find a hotel under $150 dollars for a night because of the high season, I finally found a place to lay my head.

After doing some e-mails I went to bed, only to get woken up by a terrible pain in my stomach, some sickness I have been plagued by since last new years. I ended up staying up and vomiting all that night until about 5:30; I had to wake up at 7. Three days-one and a half hours of sleep and I'm on my way to orientation, yuck.

At orientation they tell me most of the classes are already full, I am not considered a resident so my tuition will be three times as much, my major is at another campus, and the only chase bank, my bank, is an hour away=no money! I like obstacles though, it makes things very exciting.

Long story short, I found my way to get in-state tuition, get into classes, get some much needed sleep and meds, and made the trip to the only chase bank. I have met some pretty cool people and my dorm is very empty, it makes it very spiritual for me.

I am very content because I am listening to my secret crush's new cd that my sister got me!

mia

Well I have finally made it to Miami. I arrived today at about twelve o'clock. I have been waiting to get here for so long and now I am here. I don't have anywhere to go yet, but I am here. I slept a total of zero hours last night from new years and then driving to the airport in Santo Domingo to catch my flight here, so I am tired.

Tomorrow I will have orientation at the school. I'll pick my classes and all of that. Hopefully I will meet a friend, most likely not, I am still pretty shy